Cats...            

Cat Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
Cat Laws, from the Art Bell show, RealAudio 130kb, 1:59
Siamese Cat Song, from Disney's "Lady and the Tramp", RealAudio 325kb, 2:05
Thomas Cat, from the Dr. Demento show, RealAudio 514kb, 3:18
About.com - Cat Page
Raw Food Diet for Cats: A Natural Solution

Download G2 RealAudio Player (2.7 mb)
NOTE! The current release of the RA player (the one which you currently download from the RealAudio web site) has MAJOR bugs. DO NOT install the new release!!!! It will cause your computer to crash. Please use the older G2 Player (and DO NOT let it upgrade to the new player).

Dogs...

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Golden Retriever:

The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie:

Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund:

You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler:

Make me.

Lab:

Oh, me, me!! Puhleeez let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Newfoundland:

Let the Border Collie do it and then you can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier:

I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle:

I'll just blow into the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. And by the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel:

Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher:

Well, while it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Irish Setter:

Huh?

Boxer:

Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark...

Mastiff:

We Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Chihuahua:

"Yo quiero Taco Bulb."

Pointer:

I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....

Greyhound:

If it isn't moving, who cares?

Australian Shepherd:

First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle....

Old English Sheep Dog:

Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb.

Hound Dog:

Zzzzzzzzzz...

Pug:

Mmmm...let me wake up, have a big breakfast...oh, could you rub my belly, get me a little snack...no, I don't want to go outside...OK, I'll get the Border Collie to do it while I nap, but before that, could I have lunch?...get me my pillow...

Cat:

Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

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